by Sister Martha Nambi, CSC
When I look back over the years, I cannot help but thank the good Lord for his merciful love toward me, for journeying with me. I just think I am God’s special child; that is why when I think of an image of God my mind immediately runs to Isaiah 49:15–16, “I will not forget you. See, I have carved you on the palms of my hands.” It is very consoling to know that God is carrying me on the palm of his hand.
In this journey toward my perpetual profession, there have been times of joy and sorrow. For the many times of joy, I thank the Lord and what I have been able to learn from them. For the times of sorrow, I too thank the Lord for offering opportunities that have enabled me to grow.
During these times, the Lord kept pace with me; when I felt empty, dry and desolate, something within me always told me not to worry and to get up and move on. There was always that inner whisper. Even in the moments I felt alone, somehow God showed up. He was always there by my side, waiting on me, supporting me, and helping me to grow through my sisters in Holy Cross, my brothers in Holy Cross, my family members and friends, spiritual directors, formators and councilors. I thank all those who served as good examples for me to emulate.
I have had a number of prayer partners or groups that have also given me spiritual strength on the journey. This has really boosted my prayer life and deepened my relationship with God. During our novitiate years, we were introduced to making an appointment with God, and for me this has been helpful. When you make an appointment with God, he will jealously guard that time. Whenever that time comes, he will wait for you. He will even remind you and make sure there is no other activity that is fixed during his time. If you miss the appointment, God will not be happy. When I miss the appointment, I normally feel bad, and during the next appointment I have to apologize to him. Sometimes when I do other things during God’s time, things do not work out well, or, if I am meeting someone, the person does not show up. So, this has made me endeavor to keep these appointments, which has deepened my relationship with God.
The other thing I have come to learn in these years is that the “yes” is what matters on my part. The rest I surrender to the will of the Father. The Lord who calls us to himself each day will always journey with us, each day of our lives. God loves us each uniquely, and yet, I cannot fully explain this unique love that the Lord has showered on me, which has brought me to this day. The most I can do is to join our mother Mary in singing the Magnificat: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord.”