God's Joyful Surprises   by Sister Verónica A. Fajardo, CSC

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine."  (Isaiah 43:1)

"How did you know? When did you know that becoming a sister was the right thing for you? Can't you serve the church without becoming a nun?" These are some of the many questions that I am asked by my close friends and relatives. I usually smile, but can't respond with just one answer because it took time for me to discover my vocation to religious life.

I've always known that God has been present in my life in a very special and real way. In thinking back about my own story, I believe that just being alive is a true gift and a miracle as well.

I am from Granada, Nicaragua. I am the youngest of three children. My sister is three years older and my brother is 11 months older than I. I am what my family calls the "surprise!" child.
	1977 - Verónica (center) and her family in León, Nicaragua

Mom and Dad hadn't planned on having another child so soon after my brother was born. Dad was quite worried and asked the doctor, "What am I going to do? We just had a child and I am still trying to pay for the birth of the last one." The doctor's response was, "Well, if you want I can give your wife an injection and then she won't be pregnant anymore." Mom got scared at hearing this and Dad spoke out against the idea immediately. He said, "No, I don't want to do that. I will find a way; we will manage. No, not that." I was shocked to hear this story, but grateful that my parents said "yes" to life. God has been present in my life since the very beginning.

During my early years in Nicaragua, my family loved being involved in our parish. We participated in the processions, celebrations and events that occurred on weekends and holidays. We prayed the rosary every evening with our grandparents, aunts and uncles. Practicing our faith was a part of our daily lives and we enjoyed it. Our religion offered comfort to us during a time when our country was in chaos due to the civil war that began in 1979.

My family immigrated to the United States in the early 1980s. We left Nicaragua looking for a better life, running away from the devastation of the war. My father came first, arriving in 1981, and two years later the rest of the family followed. I was only 8 years old, but I remember the experience vividly. We traveled by bus most of the way until we got to Mexico. Then we traveled by boat, van and car until we finally reached Tijuana, Mexico. Crossing the border was difficult and dangerous.

Six-year-old Verónica stands at the gate of Our Lady of Perpetual Help, her home parish in Granada, Nicaragua.

We arrived safely in Los Angeles, California, and our lives changed completely. We had to learn English, and get used to a new culture and a new way of living. Beginning life in a new country was not easy, but we were hopeful and wanted to do our best to make a better life in our new home. My family also felt blessed that we were able to continue to practice our faith at Assumption Parish in East Los Angeles. God continued to be good to us.

During my teens, I become more involved at Assumption Parish. I helped in catechism classes and participated in the choir, the youth group and the confirmation class as well. Doing service was very gratifying. I felt I was making a difference in my community and giving back to it for having provided me so much. I had considered becoming a teacher ever since I was little, so being so involved in church helped me to experience teaching and I enjoyed it.

I worked with a group of sisters from my parish. They were sweet to me and I liked spending time with them after school and on weekends. I thought about becoming a nun, too, but in my mind you were either a teacher or a nun. I just could not see a person doing both. I also was very interested in boys and dating at that time so religious life was not a priority.

After high school I went to Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles and majored in liberal studies and Spanish. While in college I was involved in a variety of volunteer activities; I was a member of both the chapel and bilingual choirs, and I worked with the sisters in campus ministry and helped to plan retreats. I felt satisfaction being involved in church activities again.

During my senior year in college, my sister and I lived with two religious from the Sisters of St. Joseph of Orange. The convent was two blocks from the university. I enjoyed living in community, participating in the prayers in the evening, and had a lot of quiet time to complete my homework. This was one of my best years in college and was my first experience living with religious women. I learned that they are normal human beings who experience both good days and bad. They had their day jobs and returned home to have dinner, to pray and even to watch TV! I was blessed by God once again and experienced a lot of peace and love throughout that year.

After college I participated in a Study Abroad Program sponsored by the university. I went to France for five weeks with a group of about 30 students. We took French and philosophy classes during the weekdays and traveled on weekends. One memorable experience in France made a difference in my life. I attended a Sunday Mass in the small town of Annecy and discovered that most of the people who worshipped there were older than I. My friend and I were the youngest ones in the group. Even the priest and all the ministers were elderly and struggled to get to the altar! At this point I thought to myself, "O boy! My church really needs young people to help! What if I were to help as a sister?" However, I tried to put that thought out of my head immediately.

After returning from Europe, I went on with my life. I began teaching in a public school and returned to teaching in the religious education program in my home parish. It took me two years to finally share my thoughts and experiences with one of the St. Joseph sisters. She responded in a calm manner and said she would love for me to join her community, but she knew it was the Holy Spirit who would guide me in my discernment. She gave me the name and number of the vocation director for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. I contacted the vocation director and began the formal discernment process.

I also informed my pastor of my desire to find out more about religious life. He said, "Don't worry, God will give you hints along the way. If you have a true vocation, God will let you know. But don't expect to be in deep prayer one day and have an angel of God come and say to you, 'Verónica, join the sisters of….' because that is not going to happen. Just take it easy, take it slow and you will know." I felt that those were some of the most comforting words I'd heard thus far. I thanked God for my pastor's guidance.

During the discernment process I found a spiritual director. We met monthly to discuss where I was in my life and how I could pray for help in this time of searching. I attended different workshops on religious life sponsored by the archdiocese. I began to read about different communities with the guidance of the vocation director. "Try to visit the sisters or view their Web site," she suggested. "Notice how you feel when you visit those sisters. Pay attention to how you feel while there because that is very important." So I took her advice. I began to look online at different Web pages. I e-mailed and called several groups.

The Sisters of the Holy Cross were the first to respond to my e-mail. I got in contact with the sisters in Los Angeles. I liked the fact that they lived in the inner city area. When I visited St. Agnes Convent in Los Angeles, I liked the way that the sisters interacted with me and with each other. They seemed to be free-spirited and lively, too. They were welcoming and enjoyed sharing their stories about their lives and ministries. I felt that I was also free to be myself around them. As a result of this experience, I continued to visit them and asked a lot of questions about religious life.

Verónica poses with Sister Maura Brannick on a past visit to Saint Mary's.

During the first year I was in contact with the Holy Cross sisters, I visited their motherhouse near South Bend, Indiana. I learned about the history of the sisters and their beginnings. I began to picture myself being a part of this group, but wanted to be more certain before making any commitment. Later that year I asked the sisters if it would be possible for me to live with them so that I could learn more about them. The sisters agreed, and I began to live with the Sisters of the Holy Cross at St. Agnes Convent in Los Angeles.

That year I became a pre-candidate and continued the discernment process, learning a lot more about the charism of the community through my lived experience. I continued to hold my full-time teaching job and also began to focus more on paying off my student loans. I enjoyed living with the sisters, and my experience helped me to become more certain that I wanted to become a Sister of the Holy Cross. I felt the presence of God in my life and was assured of the great love God has for me.

I made first vows in August 2006 and have continued to be in the teaching ministry. As time goes by, I get a deeper understanding of my vocation and God keeps giving "hints" along the way. I recognize that this is what is right for me in my life so I want to persevere on this journey and continue to experience a God full of joyful surprises!