Nothing else to give but my life, 
    to One whose love is unconditional

by Sister Lucy Lalsangzuali, CSC

Reflecting back on my life from childhood, I realize that I have experienced many things that were all elements leading me to religious life in this particular family of Holy Cross. In spite of all my limitations, the One who loves me unconditionally has guided my life to work for him.  I deeply believe that God has something to tell me – some kind of purpose for me in this world – where, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I now respond to it in religious life. I feel I am discovering and fulfilling God's purpose through my life in this Congregation.

My parents were farmers, of simple faith, devout Catholics from birth to death. I have three sisters and four brothers. Youngest of the girls, I am fifth among all my siblings. I grew up in Lungtan, a small remote village in Mizoram, in northeast India. Through hardships, my older brothers and sisters went to school. At the request of my parents, the sisters who worked in our parish took me in, and I was educated at the Holy Cross Brothers' School in Champhai for six years (1988-1993). During those years, I rarely went home because I helped the sisters in whatever way I could during the school holidays. The sisters were good guides for my life. I learned many wonderful things from them, and the desire to be like them began to take root in me.

By the time I finished secondary school, I strongly felt the call to be a sister. I asked for permission to enter, but I was directed to first complete higher secondary school in Mizoram. My parents came to settle in Khawzawl where the Holy Cross priests had opened a parish school just two years earlier. I thought it might be good to work at the school and be with my parents again after such a long time.

As I began to teach, I also became involved in social activities and volunteer associations. Besides these, my interest in sports continued. Life became very busy and I ignored the call I had heard earlier; I didn't even want to think about it anymore! Then, after completion of the higher secondary course and with the small stipend I received from the school, I was admitted into college. With the special consideration of the principal, I did not attend classes but simply appeared for the examinations when the time came and finally passed.

Now I understand that God never failed to guide me during all of that time; he was preparing the way for me.

I believe that everything happens according to God's plan. During the time I was completing my bachelor's degree, I had the feeling that I had sufficiently helped my parents and younger brothers. The Spirit came upon me and I heard God's voice within me saying, "Jesus gave his life for you by dying on the cross. What are you going to give him in return?" I was filled with the realization that I had nothing else to give to Jesus but my life. I told the sisters in our parish that I really wanted to become a sister; I went to them because they were the nearest ones. I just wanted to enter a convent; the congregation did not matter.

My parents were happy and grateful with the decision I had made. Their support and encouragement was another great blessing for me. I prayed and reflected again, after which I was convinced that the principal of the school would let me go. I went to him without any hesitation. He asked me, "Would you like to join Holy Cross? If you wish, I'll communicate with the sisters who have recently come to settle in Shillong." I was confused. The sisters I knew previously had arranged things for me quite a long time ago; the Sisters of the Holy Cross were unknown to me.

Father Simon, the principal, could see my dilemma. He advised me to pray and reflect, and to let him know my decision after three weeks. I reflected deeply for the next three weeks. At last, the Holy Spirit enlightened me and gave me the courage to say "yes" to Holy Cross. It would not be easy to tell the other sisters that I had changed my mind and that I had decided to join Holy Cross, but I was at peace and ready to face their questions.

I knew I had discovered the right congregation for me because, day by day during the three-month period of my "Come and See" program, my attraction to the Congregation grew. I enjoyed the hospitality, equality, friendliness, freedom and openness – traits very similar to and connected with the culture from which I had come. I lived and shared my life with the sisters in Shillong for two years. During this period I learned many more things about the Congregation and its founder, Father Basil Moreau, and his charism.

I also attended the Integrated Theology for Laity and Religious course at Sacred Heart Theological College as a part of my postulancy program. The course covered various topics about the role of the religious, laity and Church today. I learned about Church history, Vatican documents, missiology, Mariology, great theologians, different types of spirituality, and the Bible itself. It gave me a broad understanding of our religion, our faith and our beliefs, deepened my faith, and led me to a more intimate relationship with God.

I have now lived in the Congregation for four years. I see our Congregation as one that understands what religious life is all about in today's world. It meets challenges with flexibility and openness, while being up-to-date and connected to the world and the generation of today.

I have also experienced an inner strength in meeting the beauty and challenges of living in a community. I have been deeply touched by the mystery of community life and the ability of all of us – who come from different family backgrounds and attitudes – to live together in harmony.
	After three months of ministry experience in the tea gardens and hilltop Khasi tribal villages, Lucy (center) enjoys her last meal in the community in Srimangal.

I enjoy the sharing of our cultural differences, customs and beliefs; learning to eat different foods; creatively and inspiringly sharing our gifts and spirituality; and revealing our spiritual growth in ways that are very enriching.

At the novitiate, I learned to work with others as a group united in love, concern, support and mutual understanding. Our mistress of novices, Sister Pushpa, and her assistant, Sister Nirmola, enabled and guided me toward a deeper love of the Lord. I personally experienced, for the short period of three months, the life of active ministry with my sisters in the Kulaura and Srimangal communities. I am deeply grateful for that precious opportunity.

In fact, my stay in these two places made me aware of many things that I had never before experienced. I couldn't even imagine some of the things-no schools for children in many villages or very small wages for the people who work in the tea estates. But these same people welcomed, generously shared and demonstrated a deep love of God. I felt both the joy of working with the poor and tribal people and also the pain, sadness and misery in which they live. I grew in awareness, appreciation and respect for the many diverse tribes who so valued their culture and traditions. I experienced admirable collaboration among the priests in the parish, the sisters, the brothers and the parishioners.

The Holy Cross sisters' zeal and spirit, their devotion to their ministry and their tireless efforts led me to deep reflection. This period was not only a time of learning, but also a profound sensing of God's glory, which gave me an inner joy and gratitude to the One who created me. It also led me to a deeper love for nature, which became an element of my spiritual growth. I needed these enriching experiences at that very important moment when I was discerning my religious vocation before my initial profession of vows in Holy Cross.

I am deeply grateful for all of the opportunities and different experiences of my life, which are all signs of God's unconditional love for me. I hope and believe that God will continue to bless me and the Congregation so that we may all work together uniting ourselves with a loving heart to further the coming of the reign of God with its justice, peace and love to win eternal life. I am grateful to you, Lord!