Considering my options   by Sister Joan Mader, CSC

"What are my options? What alternatives have I already created? Where has God been in my life so far? How can I best use the gifts and talents God has given me? What do I really want to do? Where is my heart?"

Over the years I have accompanied a number of women who were trying to discover what to do with their lives – where God was calling them – and these are the questions that often surfaced in our conversations.

When I think about my own experience, I realize there were a number of options that shaped my life. Some were presented by other people – people who believed in me and were able to see more potential than I could see in myself. Others were generated from internal conviction, an unshakable confidence and assurance in the decisions I needed to make at the time. These 10 have served me well at my "crossroad" moments.

Religious life
My story begins in Chicago, where I was born to very loving parents.

	They were steady, disciplined Catholics who passed their customs on to me, their firstborn. I lived as a somewhat spoiled only child until my brother came along when I was 6 1/2. Beyond my immediate family, I remember being impressed by the religious fervor of my paternal grandparents and my mother's sister and her family. I wanted to live in faith as they did.
Seven-year-old Joan with her mother, father and brother in Chicago

Believe it or not, the choice of religious life was one of the first options that I remember making. When I was ready to enter the third grade my family moved to Evergreen Park, a suburb of Chicago, and enrolled me in the parochial school at Most Holy Redeemer Parish. I was impressed by the Sisters of the Holy Cross whom I met there and decided that I wanted to be just like them. This attraction stayed with me through my high school days, alongside many other possibilities that presented themselves.

Whenever I mentioned my dream my parents would say, "We'll see." Although the response seemed cool and unsupportive at the time, I realized later that they were very wise. They neither discouraged me nor took an enthusiastic stance. Either of these reactions might have pressured me. They left me free to choose as I wished. They wanted me to be happy.

Latin or Spanish
After graduating from Holy Redeemer Grade School, I moved on to Mother McAuley Liberal Arts High School for Girls. My mother encouraged me to take Spanish as my language option. "It is easier than Latin," she said, "and a lot more fun." I took her advice. Little did I know that Spanish would change the course of my life.

Later I majored in Spanish and Latin at Saint Mary's College in Notre Dame, Indiana, and taught language classes for teenagers and adults for many years. When I moved to the southern "home missions," I used Spanish in my ministry in three Hispanic parishes. For the last 10 years I have lived and ministered in Guadalupe, Nuevo Leon, Mexico, not far from Monterrey and three hours south of the U.S./Mexico border at Laredo, Texas. Now I use Spanish every day.

Holy Cross – go the distance
At Mother McAuley I was taught by a number of Sisters of Mercy. My biggest question in my junior year was which congregation I should enter. In my inexperienced eyes, the Sisters of the Holy Cross and the Sisters of Mercy seemed very similar. In the end, I chose Holy Cross because it was farther from my home. The Mercy order had its Chicago novitiate about a mile from my house, and Saint Mary's was about two hours away. Distance seemed important at that point. Also, Holy Cross had missions throughout the United States, as well as in Bangladesh and Brazil. Somehow this was attractive to me, the shy teenager who wanted to make a difference with her life. I entered Holy Cross following my high school graduation; I was 18 and eager to dedicate myself completely to God and the service of God's people.

Teacher, first and foremost
When I entered the Congregation, most Holy Cross sisters were teachers or nurses. I wanted to be a teacher. The first sisters I knew were grade school teachers and that was what I hoped to be. However, the option to major in Spanish changed this way of thinking. I studied Spanish and secondary education, and my first assignments were to teach in high schools.

I loved teaching young people, but found myself gradually teaching adults, which I liked even more. I taught Latin and Spanish to teenagers, and English and Spanish to adults. It was a chance to broaden people's horizons and to challenge them to step into worlds they had never explored.

Home missions Toward the end of my time at Bishop Noll High School in East Chicago, Indiana, I began visiting homes of Mexican, Puerto Rican and Cuban women who were in my English classes. I discovered that my Spanish could be used in a pastoral way that opened new worlds to me. I was in my mid-30s when I went to serve in the southern part of the United States, also known as the "home missions."
	1978 – Sister Joan addresses a group in Cristo Rey Parish, Austin, Texas.

Although our sisters who ministered abroad always impressed me, I never felt called to "the missions" until the idea of home missions came up. I realized that there was spiritual and material poverty among the newly arrived immigrants in the southern part of the United States and that strongly attracted me. I could use my Spanish in a parish setting. Sister Martin de Porres and I volunteered to move south and were assigned to Cristo Rey Parish in Austin, Texas.

Life was taking another turn. It was necessary to adjust to ministry outside the classroom, so Sister Martin and I took steps to prepare ourselves to be parish ministers. We also were blessed to work with an excellent pastor, Father John Driscoll, and for three years we learned as much as possible.

Later I became the administrator of a priestless parish and its mission for six years. Several sisters and associates were my companions and collaborators as we dedicated our energies to developing lay ministers. During those years I was privileged to accompany a number of young religious and lay associates as they took their initial steps into parish ministry. It was an enriching time for me and, hopefully, for them as well.

Internal ministry
In 1987, I was elected superior of the southern region of our Congregation and in 1989, I was elected to the General Leadership Team. I had the opportunity to meet many people and walk with them during significant moments in their lives. As a Leadership Team we also made a number of decisions that had an impact on the life of the Congregation. This was a time of growth and purification for me, a time I would not have chosen, but which I now treasure.

Sister Joan (seated far right) and the 1989 General Leadership Team

Crossing borders
After seven years of service to the Congregation, I asked to join our newly established mission outside of Monterrey, Mexico. Although I had used Spanish in ministry for most of my life, living in a Spanish-speaking country stretched my boundaries more than I could have imagined. 

	I went to Mexico because it seemed to be the right place for me at the time. I'm still there because new and interesting options keep surfacing.
Sister Joan in Monterrey, Mexico

With this option to cross the border, I chose to accompany poor, simple faith-filled people who have been an inspiration to me. I have been formed and sensitized to the Mexican culture by them. Moving to another country is very good for one's humility. Suddenly, I was a minority. I didn't understand many of the political, economic, social and church systems and rarely understood jokes. Often people didn't, and still don't, understand my accent. Children stare at my towering figure, pale skin and white hair. And yet, I can't think of anywhere I would rather be.

Meet and greet
Five years ago, we made the decision to change part of the focus of our ministry to vocations.

My ministry had been almost exclusively with women in small base communities and adult Bible study groups, while Sister Michelle Toepp worked with children in a variety of ways. We realized that if we wanted to attract women to religious life, we needed to make space for young women in our lives.
	Guiding a 1995 mini-retreat for women who are alone, Sister Joan (second from left) watches as a participant puts her thoughts to paper.

The first step was the decision to dedicate one weekend each month to activities with single women. We started a monthly discernment group for women ages 18 to 35 and a service group for girls from 11 to 17 years old. Later we opened our home for a three-month "Come and See" experience for women who thought they might be interested in religious life in Holy Cross. Since that program began in the summer of 2001, several young women have spent at least three months sharing meals and prayer, housework, and community responsibilities with us as they discerned their next steps.

Formation in Mexico
Although we were hoping that young women would show an interest in Holy Cross, we were taken by surprise when two participants in the discernment group talked to us about joining. Their questions forced us to talk to the Leadership Team of the Congregation about the possibility of initial formation in Mexico. The Leadership Team agreed.

The first candidate in the Mexican program began in September 2002 and entered the novitiate in July 2003. Two new candidates began their programs in January 2005 and others are interested.

Living with a grateful heart
One of the unifying and most important options in my life has been my choice to have an attitude of gratefulness for everything that happens in my life. This attitude has lightened some difficult situations and has helped me to learn from them.

All my options have been rich and plentiful. I have been mentored by a series of wise women and men, who have encouraged me to take steps I otherwise would have been hesitant to consider. In turn, I have been privileged to guide many women – religious and lay – as they took beginning steps in pastoral ministry or religious life. It has been a joy to accompany them and encourage them along the way. For all these blessings, I am deeply grateful.

What options will turn up for me in the future? I can't be sure, but I am comforted by the fidelity of God's loving Spirit in my life so far. I feel certain that God's ways with me will not change in the days to come.

How about you? Have you considered your options lately? What is it that you really want to do with the precious life that is yours? Could life in Holy Cross be a fit for you as it has been for me?

A Bible study group shares a laugh with Sister Joan, 2004.