Does the “C-word” scare you?

For many people, especially young adults, the thought of making a permanent commitment seems to give them goose bumps down their spines. If not goose bumps, at least some anxiety. Promising to do something — anything — forever seems to go against the grain. Does this describe you?

Perhaps part of the reason many young people hesitate to make serious, lifetime commitments is due to a lack of role models. Faithfulness and longevity do not seem to be the “in” thing these days.

The statistics are staggering. Recently, I read that two out of four marriages will end in separation or divorce. When a serious problem does occur in a marriage, it is not uncommon for many to take out the yellow pages and look for a lawyer instead of seeking counseling and trying to find a solution.

Why then are we surprised that young people today hesitate to make permanent commitments? Some think it isn’t even possible. To some it is easier to live with someone than to go through the hassle of marriage when it might not work out. It is safer, they feel, to leave all options open.

The ability to make lasting commitments is a sign of maturity. Commitments require responsibility, love, forgiveness and faithfulness. If a person has a history of infidelity, chances are that person will have trouble making a lifetime commitment to a spouse or to a religious congregation.

Commitments take work. To be true to a vow or commitment, we have to be willing to say yes over and over again. We need to recommit ourselves and strive to deepen our commitments as time goes on.

As I reflect upon the seeming lack of willingness to make life commitments, I think another problem — besides not enough role models — is the fear that we are going to fail. We forget to count on God’s help and faithfulness to us. God’s abundant grace is there to help us live out our commitments. God must be in the center of every marriage and every religious vocation.

It is true that sometimes things do not always work out, and commitments can be damaged or abandoned, but this should be the exception, not the rule.

To become a whole person, we must dedicate ourselves to one person, one thing. Commitment requires an individual to go beyond oneself. A person who is self-centered usually finds commitments difficult.

Commitments challenge us to grow and to become better people. They stretch us into becoming what God wants us to be.

God is our ultimate role model. God made a covenant with his people. No matter how much they sinned, God never abandoned them. That still holds true today. That is the message of Jesus. God is committed to us for the long haul.

Did you enjoy this article? If so, browse our “Living the Faith” archive to read some of Sister Margie’s past reflections.