Hello college, goodbye church?

For some students, going away to college is often viewed as a chance for liberation from parents and the restrictions of family life. One parental rule in most Catholic homes is the one about Mass attendance. I can still hear my father and mother saying to my sister, brother and me that “as long as you live in this house, you will go to Mass.” Does this sound familiar?

Aside from the natural tendency of many young people to rebel against authority, living away from home, especially for the first time, presents many challenges. It can be difficult to live the faith without support systems. In most cases, we learn about our faith from our parents, teachers and other mentors. College is a prime time for a young person to mature in and really begin to own his or her faith. Attendance at Mass and practicing the faith become a personal responsibility.

Sometimes I hear students and other young adults say, “I didn’t ask to be a Catholic. My parents made that decision for me. I was a baby and not able to choose for myself.” That is true for those baptized as infants, but the fact remains that we received the gift of faith through our parents, and one of the tasks of young adulthood is to own that faith and mature in it. We are part of the church whether we chose it or not.

College is a special time for intellectual growth, which should also include growth in our knowledge and appreciation of our Catholic faith. When I was a campus minister at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor we had a course every semester titled Catholic Update. The pastor, when he was giving a plug for attendance, would challenge the students by pointing out that many were working on degrees in higher learning while they seemingly had little more than an eighth-grade education in their faith. Often less! That statement made an impact, and we always had large classes of students sincerely seeking to know and understand more about the riches of Catholicism.

Some students have a great need to explore different faith traditions during their college years, and I think that is good. However, it is important to include the Catholic Church in that exploration. Sadly enough, some people abandon their faith without ever actually knowing what the church really teaches and why.

College is the prime time to deepen that knowledge and to deepen one’s relationship with Jesus. Faith and friendship with Jesus and his church provide the sustenance needed to get through college and all the challenges it presents. As many will discover, it is when one is away from his or her support systems that he or she needs the church even more. And not only does the church provide a haven during college days, it often provides a chance to exercise one’s gifts.

My advice to college students who are serious about their faith and relationship with God — or want to be — is to try some of the following suggestions:

• First of all, find someone to go to Mass with you. Many young adults hesitate to go on their own. It is a lot different not being connected to a family or with familiar people at Mass. Students have told me that they met some of their dearest friends while they were involved in campus ministry or at the Newman Center of their university.
• Second, sign up for at least one activity that campus ministry or the center provides. Volunteer to be a lector, minister of Communion, etc. Join a faith sharing or Scripture group. Sign up for a retreat. At Michigan, students in their final year or semester of school who went on a campus retreat for the first time often said how much they regretted not making a retreat earlier in their college life. It is a great way to make good friends who share similar values. You may even meet your future husband or wife. If you are a commuter student who does not live on campus or goes to a school that does not have its own Catholic Center, find a parish where you can get involved. Talk to the pastor about opportunities to connect and use your abilities for the church. Start your own sharing or young adult group.
• Third, find a mentor or a spiritual companion with whom you can express your doubts, fears, concerns, questions, etc. about the church. This can be a priest, religious brother or sister or any good Catholic who you trust and admire. It is not good to go it alone when you are searching. A wise, listening ear is often a big help in times of confusion and can help you grow in your faith.
• Last, but certainly not least, try to pray each day. Give Jesus some of your quality time, even if it is only five or 10 minutes a day. Share your joys and concerns. Deepen your relationship with Jesus and ask him to help you grow your faith. When it comes right down to it, it is your friendship and faithfulness to him that will sustain you throughout college and your entire life. The church is here to support us in our efforts to be disciples.

Did you enjoy this article? If so, browse our “Living the Faith” archive to read some of Sister Margie’s past reflections.